Friday, July 25, 2014

Waldorf

On a New World Champion of Frustration

Regency Furniture Stadium
Regency Furniture Stadium, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
Sugarland Skeeters vs. Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Regency Furniture Stadium
Atlantic League, Freedom Division (Independent)
Waldorf, MD
7:05 PM


Outside the Game:
I woke up rather refreshed and went down to get some breakfast before retreating to the hotel room to laze around in my gigantic bed for a while. Determined to get some work done, I downloaded some new games and played them until it was time to leave.

As Waldorf didn't seem to have much on tap, and since Baltimore was on the way and the Orioles weren't home, I decided to go to the sports museum next to Oriole Park that I didn't get a chance to visit before. It was a quiet drive that dumped me right at the stadium. Since the O's were away, I was able to snag street parking right next to the stadium, although it took me three tries before I could get one of the "easy" street parking machines to deliver an actual ticket to put on my dashboard. I figured I should be heading south no later than 3 PM, so I bought enough time to get me to then, and I headed for the museum.

As I was parking, a group of three young Orioles employees (judging by their outfits and the fact that they were smoking right by a staff entrance to the park) looked at my car, and one of them asked me what year that was. And I told them it was a 91 Plymouth Sundance. And he looked incredulous, and said, "She must run good for you." I said she did and that I was going to give her a twenty-fifth birthday party soon, and we all had a laugh. That was literally the only time anyone has ever mentioned my car on one of these trips.

Upon purchasing a ticket for the sports museum, I realized that I hadn't been to the Babe Ruth Birthplace Museum, either, and so I got a combo ticket and headed into the Sports Museum. All of the baseball material was very well done, going from the 19th century Orioles, through their various minor-league incarnations, and eventually the O's of today.

Ruth plaque
Probably one of the only people to see both of these.

As expected, there was a rather extensive section on George Herman Ruth (including the sibling of the plaque at Koshien Stadium--I think I may be one of the few people in the world who has seen them both), but they also went through the Negro Leagues in Baltimore, as well as minor-league, semi-pro, and youth baseball. There was an interactive section for the "kids," and there was a bunch of other stuff on football that I kind of blew through. I cleaned out my wallet at the gift shop, and one of the staff directed me to follow the baseballs painted on the pavement to go the short distance to the Babe Ruth birthplace.

Surprisingly enough, following said baseballs painted on the pavement dutifully led me to the museum on a side street several blocks from the park. The museum is housed in the Ruth family house, which means that Ruth didn't live there too long before he was shipped out to the school for wayward boys. There are a couple of restored rooms in the building to recreate how the house appeared when Ruth was there, while the rest of building is dedicated to exhibits on his playing career, his entertainment career, and his family life. Of particular interest was a scorecard someone had of Ruth's first professional appearance on the then minor-league Orioles.

Babe Ruth
Signed

They also had a museum store, and I also spent a bunch of money there. One of old men working enthusiastically told me that I should have lunch at Pickles, which is one of the sports bars across the street from Orioles Park. Who am I to disagree with someone who works at Babe Ruth's house?

Center to home, Oriole Park at Camden Yards
Center field to home plate, Oriole Park at Camden Yards

So I stopped at Pickles and had some overstuffed club sandwich or some such, and then went to Orioles Park to take some pictures. They have the pedestrian walkway in the back of center field open on non-game days, so I was able to take a lot of pictures of things that I didn't get the last time I was there, before I got a tad, um, obsessive about such things.

Educated, fed, and photographically complete, I decided to head down to Waldorf at a little before 3 PM. At a little under 50 miles away, I should have arrived there in under an hour.

There's traffic on Fridays during the summer. I get that, I do. Some people even take half-days, but leaving before 3 PM, I figured I was in good shape. And that was a gravely mistaken assumption, as it turns out.

I'm not good in traffic. That is a fault of mine that I freely acknowledge. Traffic is the distillation of everything that I hate about the world in its most concentrated and pure form: illogic, stupidity, and inefficiency due to the previous two items. Boston has the worst drivers in the nation. Of that, there is no doubt. Miami and the entire state of Pennsylvania come in a close second. I don't even acknowledge what people in LA do as "driving," or they, too, would make this list as well.

But there is a new king for frustration while driving, and that is the Baltimore/DC corridor. It is not just the traffic, which is horrific. It is also the fact that everything about their road systems seem to be designed to increase traffic instead of alleviate it.

For example, there are the traffic lights. Whoever designed this traffic light pattern should be dragged from his bed, thrown to the street, see everything and everyone he loves or cares about killed or destroyed in front of him, and then be stabbed in the stomach with a typhoid-laced rusty spoon--careful to miss any important bits--and left to die, slowly.

The way these lights work for a four-way intersection is thus: one lane of left-turn lanes only are given the green. Then the opposite side left-turn lane is given the green. And then one side of straight or right-turn traffic is given the green, and the other. This then repeats for the perpendicular traffic. What this means is: if you just miss a green light, you are going to be spending the next three to five minutes of your life waiting to move again. And not only is that infuriating in itself, it also blocks up the traffic behind everyone for miles more than if the lights kept any sort of reasonable pattern.

At any rate, my TomTom decided to take me down some two lane highway called the Baltimore-DC Parkway (or something) instead of 95. This was fine until the lights began and stopped traffic dead. I turned off and made it to 95 South, which got me relatively quicker to the inner loop beltway, which is where all hope goes to die. It took an hour to get around the Beltway with stop-and-go, bumper-to-bumper traffic that had me at my absolute wit's end. The TomTom helpfully told me to miss the exit it was trying to take me to. (I can only imagine that there had been a traffic pattern change recently, as the "exit ramp" a quarter mile after the real exit ramp was didn't exist, so I had to go one more exit, turn around, and then fight the traffic in the other direction until I reached my actual destination.)

At my exit, I was then dumped into another "highway" with traffic lights every quarter mile, so that the ten miles that I needed to traverse took another half hour.

Sweaty, enraged, and beyond my depth, I found that the TomTom address for the hotel was nowhere near an actual hotel. The address on the Website hadn't matched up with my GPS at all, and I called earlier in the day to get a new address. That address put me in the middle of nowhere. I pulled into the nearest driveway and called the hotel in a rather foul mood. After talking to three people, I eventually talked to someone who could give me actual directions to the hotel, and five minutes later I was there, a good hour and a half later than I intended to get there and ready to impose bloody murder on any situation to displease me.

When I inquired at the front desk how people get anywhere down here, they replied that they were impressed that I made such good time getting there from Baltimore. Realizing we weren't even speaking the same language, I went up to my room and unpacked.

With a shower and a nap out of the timetable, I cleaned up a little and went back to my car. It was about 5:20 PM, and the stadium was about ten minutes away according to the TomTom, and I was off.

Except that it was still Maryland hell. There seemed to be traffic lights--without exaggeration--every five feet, and I missed them all. I didn't pull into the parking lot until 5:45 PM. I parked my car, made a brief effort to remember where I parked, and dashed up to the ticket booth to get a ticket, and I then did a turbo run around the park to take my pictures before getting on the line of people entering the stadium. This was as close to gate as I'd ever been at a park, and it (and the heat) made me reek with failure.

Fireworks
At least the fireworks were pretty.

After the game, I set out as soon as the game was over and was to my car as the fireworks started. I watched for a minute, and then started the drive back to my hotel. I was able to make the 10-minute trip in only twenty minutes this time (while only getting lost once), a great achievement in this hellscape of driving purgatory.

I went up to my room and peeled off my disgusting clothing, took a shower, finished packing up, and flopped into bed.


The Stadium & Fans:
Home to center, Regency Furniture Stadium
Home plate to center field, Regency Furniture Stadium

Given my late and upset arrival, I pretty much did a run around the outside of the park before the gates opened, all the while cursing every last thing about Maryland.

The park itself, perhaps especially because of its corporate branding naming, appeared a little... it is hard to say. I'm going to go with "shackish." Perhaps more "pre-fab gazebo." It really is hard to say. Something was off about it.

Inside, it struck me similar to the Rockland Boulders' place, in that it was a very nice stadium, but perhaps it was too much park for an indie team. There was one section of seating extending down the main promenade, running from short left field to short right field behind home plate. The press box and luxury boxes extended above in a second level from about first to third base. Most of the concessions extended that same expanse. There's a patio and kids' area in right field and a picnic area and a "Legends Club" in a another pre-fab shack-looking building in left field. A boardwalk extends around the entire outfield. There is a lawn berm extending most of the way around the outfield, with bench seats right by the wall. Bumper boats and a sand play area with playground toys is in right center.

A manual scoreboard is in the wall in left and a digital video board in right field. Alien-looking furry mascot Pinch runs the standard indie between-inning contest along with human helpers lead by an MC in a flop hat and tie-dye. The crowd was quite respectable given the time and the location, but they mostly seemed in it for the entertainment as opposed to the baseball.


At the Game with Oogie:
Scoring
Sad scoring

I purchased my ticket much later than usual, but I decided on the same place, box seats behind the home dugout (third base side, this time).

It was well-attended for an indie-ball game during vacation season, and there were families all around me. To my immediate right was three generations of the same family: a grandfather, father, and the granddaughters. The grandpa was patiently explaining everything about baseball to his inquisitive granddaughter, and we got to talking during the game, especially about the unbelievably bad officiating that was going on--but more on that later. Behind me was another family and a visiting guest. It was their guest's first professional baseball game, and they got him and his friend on the field to do the sumo suits wrestle between innings.

Grub
Chicken sandwich and soda
Since I was so hot and disgusting, I wasn't very hungry. I got a meal deal for a chicken sandwich and fries to get a jumbo soda, and I think I downed about two Gatorades before and during the game to keep my fluids up.


The Game:
First pitch, Skeeters vs. Blue Crabs
First pitch, Skeeters vs. Blue Crabs

This game was, if nothing else, made to engender a respect for major-league umpires, as the independent variety do not hold up to scrutiny. It is often a cop-out to claim a game was stolen by the umps, but in this case, the boys in blue nearly wrapped up the game in a bow for the visiting Skeeters.

The Skeeters started the game with a single, but then went in order, and Maryland went in order in the bottom of the inning. Sugar Land got their leadoff hitter on base again in the second with a leadoff walk, but he was similarly stranded with three subsequent outs. The Blue Crabs went in order again, as did the Skeeters in the top of the third.

Maryland got something going with four straight singles to start the bottom of the third, bringing in two runs. A sacrifice fly to left brought in the runner from third, but the trailing runner got picked off flatfooted to end the inning 3-0, Blue Crabs. Both sides went in order in the fourth.

Things went odd in the top of the fifth. Sugarland started the half with a single and a stolen base. A fly out to center moved the runner to third, and a walk followed. Then the umpires called a balk on the pitcher, which was a balk only to the umpire and no one else. It wasn't even close to a balk. This scored a run and moved the trailing runner to second. Two more outs stranded the runner to make it 3-1, Blue Crabs. The bottom of the inning began with some manner of hit for the Blue Crabs. The hit was originally called foul, then reversed to a double, then reversed again to a single. A sacrifice moved the runner to second, but two strikeouts ended the threat.

The sixth started with a walk, a strikeout, and a change of pitcher. Another walk was followed with another out that moved the runners to second and third. A single brought them in. The next batter walked while the guy on first was stealing, but the umpire did not make the call in any sort of timely manner, so the catcher threw to second and into center, getting the runner to third. Luckily, a ground-out stopped the damage with the game tied at 3-3. The Blue Crabs went in order in the sixth.

The top of the seventh broke the tie with a one-out homer, making it 4-3, Skeeters. In the bottom of the inning, Maryland only managed a walk. Another new pitcher for the Blue Crabs got two outs in the eighth, but then gave up a double and a single to bring in another run before a fly to right ended the half at 5-3, Sugarland. The Blue Crabs went in order again.

Another Southern Maryland pitcher came in and got two outs, but to shake it up, he gave up a single and then a double to bring in run before a fly to right ended the top of the ninth at 6-3, Skeeters. The perhaps tired Blue crabs went in order on last licks to end the game at that score for the opposition.


The Scorecard:
Skeeters vs. Blue Crabs, 07-25-14. Skeeters win, 6-3.
Skeeters vs. Blue Crabs, 07/25/14. Skeeters win, 6-3.

The program was a pamphlet-sized give-away at the door. The scorecard was a one-pager on cheap magazine paper that lead to a lot of smudging and poor pencil adhesion. Also worth mentioning was that this was a scorecard for ants. It was crammed into one page, with the bottom quarter of the page taken up by an ad. There was absolutely no space for substitutions, and barely enough room to score with line notation.

That said, the story of the game was the poor umpiring, and there are extensive notes on the ball four screw-up, as well as the foul that was a double that was a single. Otherwise, the only scoring of note was the 1-3-4t caught stealing in the bottom of the third, and the fact that I think the Blue Crabs were getting paid by the pitcher, as they managed to cram in seven in a nine-inning game.


The Accommodations:
Hilton Garden
Hilton Garden

I was staying at the Hilton Garden, and eventually even found it.

The hotel was nice, not that I was in a mood to appreciate it when I got in. My room was also nice, but not as nice as the night before. A big old bathroom was just off the entrance (no tub, but the shower did its work well), and the main room was separated into my big old bed on one wall, with an easy chair next to the window, and a desk, TV, dresser, and a little kitchenette with refrigerator, coffee machine, and microwave on the other side.

The bed slept well, and after the unending frustration that this day had foisted upon me, it was quite welcome.



2014 Maryland

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