Friday, January 5, 2018

Melbourne

On Going Back-to-Back

Melbourne Ballpark
Melbourne Ballpark, 2018
Friday, January 5, 2018
Canberra Cavalry vs. Melbourne Aces
Melbourne Ballpark
Australian Baseball League
Altoona, VIC, Australia
7:00 PM


Outside the Game:

Whether I was still amped up because I nearly was stranded on the Adelaide beach the night before or not, I got very poor sleep. I eventually gave up after the last abortive nap and ran my last load of clothes through the drier while eating as much of remaining food in my refrigerator as possible before finishing packing and heading downstairs to check out and grab the airport shuttle.

Adelaide Airport
Adelaide Airport

I was the first stop for the shuttle, and I drifted off to sleep nearly immediately to be awoken at the airport. I shook the cobwebs out of head and went to the Qantas check in desk. It was all automated kiosks again, and again rather quickly an attendant spotted my terminal Americaness and helped me sort out my carry-on and confirm my boarding pass. I was quickly off to a longish (at least for Australia) security line, and through to the gate area. I stopped and grabbed a supplementary breakfast of a Hungry Jack's "MegaMuffin" before heading to my gate.

The plane boarded a little early, and we all went happily along on a cattle car boarding that had everyone quickly in their places. There was an older gentleman in the window seat, myself in the aisle, and we magnanimously split the middle open seat between us in a democratic fashion. We got to talking about my Android tablet, as he was in the market for a new device, and that conversation took a good portion of the short flight. I worked in another nap at some point, and then, boom, Melbourne, once again landing a little early.

I was able to grab my bag at the carousel rather quickly, and then had, for the first time, to deal with Melbourne’s substandard public transportation. The quickest way to city center from the airport was the SkyBus. I waited in a little line to get a ticket, and then was quickly loaded onto the next departure. And while SkyBus was relatively quick, it was incredibly hot (and smelly thereby), as well as having "free" WiFi that required half the trip to sign up for correctly.

Hot, uncomfortable, and still grumbly, I exited in the bus terminal at Southern Cross Station, one of the main stations on the west end of the very square city center. A quick stop at a tourist window got me a map, and it revealed that I was pleasantly close to my hotel for the trip, which was just down a block or two from the station.

Southern Cross Station
Southern Cross Station

I proudly (or pridefully is probably a better term) marched into the hotel and announced my intention to check in. The dapper gentleman behind the counter--who I was to discover was the manager of the establishment--could not find my reservation. After a bit of back and forth, we realized the problem, or, more to the point, my problem.

In the process of organizing a five-week vacation, things can happen. I managed to book two plane tickets incorrectly (going to Melbourne and Perth from Brisbane instead of Adelaide and Melbourne, respectively) because I had about a thousand tabs open at the same time when I was trying to put my travel together. I managed that screw up and have to re-book entirely new tickets. One of the last “clever” bits I did was move up my flight to Melbourne by a day to give me an extra day in the larger city instead of Adelaide. There was the risk that if there was a rain-out in Adelaide, I would have to extend my stay a day for the make-up, but thankfully at least that didn't happen.

What I didn't do was move my hotel reservation up the day. So I did have a reservation of the Alto Hotel on Bourke, but it started the next day. Cue polite, worried smile.

The manager was able to put me at ease and book me for that night as well, even though it was a Friday, and this man immediately became my best friend. The rate wasn't even much worse than what I booked ahead of time. I got done with the paperwork and then retreated up to my room.

While my room was much smaller than my last, it was in the center of the second-largest city in Australia and cost about $100/night, so you can't shake a stick at that. I unpacked a bit, took a shower, and then had a much-needed nap. After awaking, I trod back to the train station to get a “Myki” card, which is what they call their transit cards in Melbourne. I stopped at a counter to see how much the trip to the game for that evening would be, put that much money on the card, and then walked around the extensive train station for a while. They had a Schnitz concession in the food court, which I promptly took advantage of for a late lunch, and then headed back to the hotel.

The Schnitz
The Schnitz: For all your breaded meat needs

An important distinction of this hotel was that it had a free massage/meditation room. By getting a key from the front desk, you could open a room in the back of the lobby that had mood lighting, relaxing DVDs, and, most importantly, two mega massage chairs. I took my first ride in one that afternoon and was instantly hooked. One thing I had desperately missed thus far on the trip was a bath tub to soak, but a half-hour massage chair session eased that problem considerably.

Melbourne commuter train
My train arrives

Suitably relaxed, I went back up to my room, grabbed my game bag, and headed back to the station to catch the train to the ballpark. The short train ride into the suburbs was over quickly, and I used my Australia map app to chart a path to the park, about fifteen minutes away. As I went to put on my sunscreen against the big, late-afternoon sun, I realized that I had forgotten my sunscreen in the room.

Australians are super-aware of sunscreen, since the sun is literally five feet overhead in most places, and they have aggressive anti-skin cancer campaigns about the danger of not wearing sunscreen. I did a quick canvas of the scant assortment of stores in the area, none of which carried sunscreen, so I donned all of my sun gear and trudged off to the ballpark.

After a short walk, I was there, and a parking attendant, seeing Lawrence of Arabia walk into his lot, asked if I was alright. I told him that I was, in fact, there for the game, and related by tale of woe. He immediately broke out his industrial sunscreen and let me lather up for the evening, for which I was grateful. As it turned out, much of his family was in America. His daughter was in school in Texas, and his son worked for NASA. In addition to the sunscreen, he gave me a pack of Lifesavers chewy candy and sent me on my way. I did my outside pictures and then went inside about an hour before the game.

On the way out, I was walking with my new friend Greg (read on) back to the train station. We got a little crossed up on the way back, as we were talking baseball so much, but we got to the station with plenty of time to catch the next train back to the city center. He was staying in the southeast part of town by the Flinders Street Station, so I got off before him. We exchanged cell numbers to meet up for the Cavalry game, and I got out and went back to the hotel, took another shower, and went to bed.


The Stadium & Fans:
Home to center at Melbourne Ballpark
Home plate to center field, Melbourne Ballpark

Melbourne Ballpark has a rather straightforward name, although it is also known as the State Baseball and Softball Centre, as well as the Victorian Baseball/Softball Centre Altona (for the suburb where it resides). Up to this point, it was the most "built-up" park I had seen, with its astro-turf kids’ field and inflatable pitching backstop outside.

It was actually quite a weird little design. The entrance is through the back of the stands into the inside of the building under the seating bowl. The area is carpeted, and it is jam-packed with the merch store and concessions, as well as two large wooden display stands full of historical baseball and softball memorabilia for Victoria. At regular intervals, stairs lead out up to the seats, and the hallways both end with doors that lead out into the left and right field plazas.

One thing of immediate note: netting. There is netting everywhere, and the old kind of rope netting, not the new carbon fiber, nearly invisible netting you find in the MLB these days. Even the areas behind the outfield is netted up, and even covered in netting as well. It is safer, sure, but less aesthetic to also be sure.

The main grandstand behind home plate is covered, and ends in the press box, and two general admissions sections spread out along the baselines on each side, with flip-down seats, and not the awful molded plastic at a lot of the other parks. There are picnic areas near both outfields, and even luxury boxes with big lounge chairs right behind home plate. A lone party deck (with barbie) is at the top of the stands behind the home dugout in first base. A straight-up scoreboard sits in left-center recording the basics, and a baseball mural of dubious virtue adorns the maintenance shed in left field.

There is but one concession stand, but it sold Chiko Rolls, so it was okay by me. The merch store had a slightly wider range of shirts and jerseys than other places in the league.

Ace
Ace has left the building

The crowd was healthy but not huge, and there were even some visiting Calvary fans, with Canberra just three hours away from Melbourne--that is what qualifies as "close" in Australia. The mascot, Ace, made some fleeting appearances, but it was mostly the human fun crew doing the standard set of contests and outfield runs, and so on. The fans did get to go out on the field after the game, and the victory was celebrated first by a fire-breather in left field, which certainly gets uniqueness points.


At the Game with Oogie:
Powerade and Chiko Roll
Powerade and Chiko Roll

So, there was quite a lot here this day, as well, even outside of my parking lot encounter before I went in.

I sprang for a grandstand seat again to get out of the heat and prevent a sore ass from the bargain seats (though the GA seats here were flip-downs). That day, I was wearing my Wyverns baseball shirt that I got on my trip to Korea, by chance, and my ticket-taker immediately took notice. The Korean gentleman was here for the summer as an intern, and the Wyverns were his team back home. It is the smallest of worlds. I talked about my trip to Korea and what I was doing here in Australia, and a bunch of other things before I headed in.

I grabbed a t-shirt at the store and then went around to do my picture thing, grabbing my Chiko rolls and drink. My seat was halfway up the grandstand right behind home plate. There were families with kids to my front and side, but a little before the game started, a lone gentleman in Cavalry gear came and sat next to me. We got talking, and it turns out that in addition to obviously being a Cavalry fan who came down this weekend for the series, he was originally from Philadelphia, and his family had moved to Australia when he was young. But he took his love of baseball with him and resisted the clarion call of cricket up to this point. He was an umpire with the club league in Canberra in addition to being a Cavalry fan, and Greg and I talked for all of the game and afterwards.

He confirmed my suspicions about the overall state of baseball in the ABL. There were a lot of raw players, which explained the large number of errors in games, and any good pitching is immediately sucked up by the Asian or American leagues, which explains the good amount of walks and home runs that happen, as well as the thin bullpens that lead to a lot of pitching changes.

In the presence of fellow baseball nerds, you end up talking and talking and talking. As related, we headed back to town together, and he mentioned that he knew a lot of the people with the Canberra team and that he could probably arrange a tour of the park for me, which I was excited about as it was, but I obviously had no idea what lie ahead for me for me last game in the trip, some two weeks away.


The Game: 
First pitch, Cavalry vs. Aces
First pitch, Cavalry vs. Aces

The Melbourne Aces faced the visiting Canberra Cavalry in a game that went down to the wire in a big change of pace to the series of lopsided wins I had seen up to this point. The Cavalry started the first inning with a homer to center to jump to a 1-0 lead, but got nothing else than a two-out reached-on-error that was promptly caught stealing. The Aces answered with their own leadoff homer to center, and stranded a two-out walk on second after a steal, leaving the game 1-1 after one. Canberra had a one-out hit by pitch in the top of the second that was erased on a complicated caught stealing play. This squandered another run, because the next batter hit a homer to left to give the Cavalry a 2-1 lead again. Melbourne scattered a leadoff walk and a single, but was unable to tie it up.

The Cavalry went in order in the third, while the Aces had a leadoff reach-on-error erased on a caught stealing. The one-inning home run drought ended in the top of the fourth with a leadoff homerun to left. Two singles and a walk loaded the bases, but nothing else came across. The Aces started the bottom of the inning with back-to-back walks and a sacrifice bunt to move the runners over. A ground-out to third brought in a run to close Canberra's lead to 3-2.

Canberra went in order in the fifth, but the Aces had a leadoff double and a one-out walk brought in with a two-out homer to left to grab the lead, 5-3. In the top of the sixth, the Cavalry had a leadoff double and one-out walk, but stranded them both, and the Aces stranded two walks of their own. The top of the seventh started with a leadoff single to right followed by a homer to right to tie it up again at 5-5, while Melbourne only managed a single in the bottom of the inning.

The Cavalry got struck out in order in the top of the eighth, and the bottom the inning started out with two strikeouts for the Aces, but a walk, stolen base, double, and long single brought in two runs before the final strikeout to give the home team a 7-5 edge again. Canberra was spent, however, and only had a walk to show for the top of the ninth, sending the Aces off with the win.


The Scorecard:
Cavalry vs. Aces, 01-05-18. Aces win, 7-5.Cavalry vs. Aces, 01-05-18. Aces win, 7-5.
Cavalry vs. Aces, 01/05/18. Aces win, 7-5.

I was again using the BBWAA scorebook. Again, the game had an unusual amount of homeruns and walks and slightly above-average errors, although this game also had 4 caught stealings and 22 strikeouts, which was unusual anywhere. The only appreciable play of note was a 1-3-6-3-4-2-5 caught stealing in the top of the second after a hit batsman. There was nothing much else of note in this regard.


The Accommodations: 
Alto Hotel on Bourke
Alto Hotel on Bourke

 For my stretch in Melbourne, I was staying at the Alto Hotel on Bourke, a ritzy place just down the street from one of the main train stations in Melbourne and on one of the main tram lines through town.

I 've already talked about the massage room, but the lobby housed a small restaurant that was also used for a free afternoon drinks event, as well as having a free open candy bar (you read that right and a library with board games.

My room was smaller than the apartments I had previously, but as I said, it was a matter of price and location. It was all one room, with a king bed against the wall, across from a TV, refrigerator, and kitchen supplies, with a desk, shelf, and a large dresser on the other wall next to the bed. The bathroom was a well-appointed number with a small vanity and a luxurious shower. There were also serious room darkening shades that made it nearly pitch black in the room even at mid-day, which is always a plus.



On The Risk of Spontaneous Combustion

Melbourne Museum
Aboriginal Stories
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Melbourne, VIC, Australia


Outside the Game:
So I awoke for the first full day in Melbourne, showered and dressed, and went down to breakfast at the hotel cafe, with some decadently fancy breakfast food to get me fortified for the day. Both the waitress and the front desk staff warned it was going to be incredibly hot that day, and it was a warning I took to heart.

It was, of course, summer in Australia at the start of January. But outside of some extremely humid weather in Brisbane, it had been relatively pleasant so far. But when Australians warn you about the heat, it is worth taking a listen, since they live on a continent that is about five feet below the sun. The forecast for that day was going to be 41, or 106 in Freedom Units. The specific irony here is that back in New York, the temperature had dipped below zero, making an over 100-degree difference between home and where I was.

I had planned to spend all day in museums anyway, but I made sure to start my day at the largest, and I took the tram to get there instead of walking. A quick tram ride after breakfast had me at the Melbourne Museum, where I walked quickly, but not too quickly, to get inside out of the heat.

The museum was an absolutely giant affair that kept me busy into the afternoon. I started with an exhibit on the Aborigines and their art, and then did the special exhibit in the basement called "Inside Out." You strapped on an MP3 player and got guided through an eclectic mix of Melbournisms, guided by an AI that fell in love with you, drag queens, and various others. As much of an art piece as an exhibition, it was quite interesting, with the standout being the room of taxidermy they set up, including "Sad Otter," who has a bit of Internet fame. The otter had undergone some unfortunately botched taxidermy and looked perpetually sad and un-otterly. It has quite a bit of local fame, with t-shirts, tattoos, and memes that sprang up about him.

Sad Otter
Internet Star

The rest of the museum was extensive. There was a large exhibit on racehorse Phar Lap, whom the Australians love to a level I cannot understand. There were dozens of people taking pictures of his stuffed remains. Other historical sections had recreations of Coles Book Arcade, as well as an alley from the seedier side of town, along with the stories of each house's inhabitants.

Phar Lap
They seriously love this horse

On "Things You Won't Find in America," there was also a rather well-done exhibit on drugs that was not all "just say no" garbage and a rather in-your-face evolution exhibit that included another art room full of stuffed animals. One particularly moving exhibit was on letters home from World War I that had an interactive projection space that swapped between a view of the destroyed battlefield during the war to the reclaimed forest of today as people passed in front of the screen.

I had lunch at the museum cafe before I headed off to my tour of the Royal Exhibition Hall across the plaza from the museum. This was the last in-tact exhibition hall in all of Australia, and one of the few Victorian monoliths left in the world. It owed its existence to the fact that they never could decide what to do to redevelop the space until it became too significant as a historical landmark to remove. The hall is still used regularly for shows and conventions, but it was empty at this point, and we got to tour the empty facility. Originally, our tour guide was worried we were going to have to cut the visit short because of the heat in the building, but it certainly bled heat much better than modern structures, and we were able to go about our business without dropping dead from dehydration.

Royal Exhibition Hall
Seriously Victorian

I spent my time in exiting through the gift shop, and then grabbed the tram to go to the Melbourne Gaol. It was late in the afternoon at this point, so the worst of the heat had broken, but I got to the Gaol just in time to have missed the last tour events, so I resolved to come back the next day and headed back to the hotel.

I took a shower and changed and then had a fantastic idea to combine my nap time and my massage room time. I got the key for the massage room and went in, turned off the lights, set up the chair, and in under a half an hour I was awake and relaxed in a very significant way.

I went back to return my key and asked the attendant what steakhouse he could recommend, as I had a hankering for some steak. He directed me to a nearby place called the Squire's Loft, where I was able to successfully get a giant steak and some Scotch to go with it in a very satisfactory manner.

Thus fortified, I went to the train station to go to Federation Square. However, the trains going one way were stopped for some reason, so instead of going two stops, I had to go on the city circle line the other direction and go the long way around. I spent some time at Flinder's Street Station and walking around Federation Square before heading to Skydeck 88, which was the really tall building with a view of Melbourne. I was able to get up with the last group and go into The Edge, which was a special cube room with polarized glass on the outside of the building that gives you a bigger view of the city. They pretend that they crank you out of the building and then un-polarize the glass so you can see around, make you take pictures looking scared, and then "crank" you back in.

Skydeck 88
One way to watch the cricket match for free

The view was suitably impressive, and with my telephoto lens, I was able to watch the 20/20 cricket match that was happening a ways down that was also be broadcast on the televisions in the SkyDeck. A lot of teenage boys, who clearly had been dragged up by their parents, were watching the match quite intently instead of the view, which included the match they were watching.

I left and, as the night was getting milder, I decided to walk back to the hotel and take in the river front. It was a pleasant enough stroll, and took me past what is perhaps the best-defended park in the world: Batman Park. However, instead of the caped crusader, the park is named for John Batman, a grazer who is famous for helping to found Sydney by getting the local Aborigines to sign a treaty they couldn't possibly have understood and stealing the land. So, he is very much the racist uncle of Melbourne that no one likes to talk about these days. The park, for the record, is also shabby and filled with homeless.

One the way back to the hotel, I stopped in at the convenience store by my hotel to do some shopping, and then trundled back to the hotel to have some tea before bed.


The Accommodations:
I had breakfast and a short stop-off in the hotel massage room on this day of avoiding the sun. Words cannot describe how much I came to love that massage room, not to mention the free glass jars of candies that were a constant stop when entering or leaving the hotel.



On Trams, and Why They Suck

Melbourne Gaol
Quite
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Melbourne, VIC, Australia


Outside the Game:
There is a pattern for this day. Now, I realize that Sundays are bad across the board for mass transit, and that things run on reduced schedules, but no less than six times in my notebook entry for this day do I have something that would be auto-corrected as "DUCKING TRAMS!"

Which is not to ignore how ridiculous trams are for mass transit for a real city. They have all the disadvantages of buses with none of the benefits of subways. It is one of many ways that Melbourne reminded me of Boston, and for those of you in any way familiar with me, you will know that is not a favorable comparison.

Anywho, I went downstairs to the hotel cafe for another decadent breakfast before heading up to the room for an important post-breakfast nap. After the hell storm of heat yesterday, the day was actually looking quite overcast, so I headed down for my first tram disappointment of the day.

I was trying to take a quick trip over to the Melbourne Gaol that I had just missed the last entry for the afternoon before, but there was a problem on the tram line, and there were delays in service. Strike one.

I eventually did make it to the jail and signed up for the first of two experience tours at the jail, where you go through processing at the jail as people did up until the late 90s, before operations were moved to a more modern facility.

It was here that I met my first real, live bogans. "Bogans" are the Australian iteration of British "chavs," or American "rednecks." They are working-class, uncultured, loud, jingoistic, anti-authority, generally low-grade criminal, and--definitely unlike rednecks--tend to the left side of the political spectrum. There was a family of them in line in front of me at the lockup experience. A man and what I assumed to be his brother; the man's loud wife; and their three children: a teenage boy, a developmentally disabled middle daughter, and a younger daughter. In a bid for equality, the middle daughter was just as loud and trashy as her family. The father and uncle had definitely seen the inside of a jail before, and in case you were wondering, were bragging quite loudly about it during the tour.

Drunk Tank
The Drunk Tank

We got "processed," were put in holding cells "overnight," and then walked through the exercise yard and other parts of the jail. After that, I wandered around a bit in the jail itself, which now held exhibits, mostly about Ned Kelly, who was held and executed there. They had replicas of his armor for kids to try on, and well as pictures, histories, and his death mask. One panel you won't find in America discussed whether a modern Ned Kelly would be seen a folk hero or simple terrorist, with pictures of Kelly in a Guantanamo orange jump suit. Many of the other exhibits dealt with prisoners that were hung by the state for their crimes and ways that they were probably railroaded even though they were innocent. So, light reading.

Ned Kelly Death Mask
Make sure you get my good side

There was another tour exhibit at the courthouse adjacent to the jail where I met with the bogans again. There was a short film about all the people who worked there, and you then got to walk about the grounds, pretend to be a judge if you were so inclined, and sit on the podium. I followed around a walking tour of the area outside the jail, and the place that had been the Potter's Field for the jail now houses a basketball half court for the university next door. Something something symbolism.

Pauper's Gravesite
Literally playing on the graves of thousands

After my time in jail (GET IT?), I walked over to the Queen Victoria Market, the largest and most famous market in Melbourne. It has rows and rows of stalls selling both goods and tourist crap, as well as an extensive food market and food court. I took the initiative to buy all the ingredients for my lunch at the food stalls, and then I went into the food court and constructed my lunch sandwiches. Not sure why, but I felt I achieved something.

Lunch at Queen Victoria Market
Hand-made lunch

After walking around there, I decided to head to the south of town to visit the Immigration Museum. Of course, I just missed the tram at the station, and then I had to wait an extended period before the next tram showed up to take me down to the museum. Strike two.

As I mentioned, the Immigration Museums, just like jails, were a staple in every major Australian city. This one had a home loom used by an Italian immigrant to make her living, an interactive exhibit that asked questions such as whether "Pom" was an insult, and another exhibit that showed a scene on a bus from the point of view of all the different people involved that was actually pretty interesting.

Immigration Museum
Tackling the tough questions

After going through the museum, I walked back to my hotel, along the way helping another group of tourists who were lost and doing my good deed for the day. Upon getting back to the room, I discovered that the blister on my pinkie toe was now definitely larger than the toe it grew from. So, I had that going for me. I took a shower and then went down for another nap in the massage room.

I went out into the evening to get some dinner in China Town. Again, the trams were delayed above and beyond the Sunday schedule (Strike three), and it took a bit of doing to eventually get to China Town. I took a walk around the extent of the place, stopping a game store at the edge of the area and then walking up and down the main street and side streets. I eventually settled in on a gyoza restaurant for dinner, and while the dumplings were good, they were out of the good whiskey, which was a damper on things.

Facing Heaven Archway
Facing Heaven Archway

I then was trying to go down to the docks to get on the Melbourne Star Observation Wheel. Except I just missed a tram (Strike four), and three trams passed by without stopping (Strike five), and it took over 45 minutes to get to the docks, which was just enough time for me to walk up and find that it had just closed for the evening. I then had to wait for a delayed tram back (Strike six), and I stopped off at Southern Cross Station and popped into the Coles Supermarket to do some shopping to make the night not a complete waste.

I took the short walk back to my hotel, had some tea to calm down, and then went to bed with throbbing feet.


The Accommodations:
I spent some time in the morning and night at the hotel, as well as my mid-day stop off, but nothing too exciting. This was the day I perfected my massage room experience, however. I got in, put down a glass of water next to the chair, turned on the AC, set up the DVD to play the New Age music with pictures of rural Scotland, turned on the air ionizer to full blast, set the chair for a 25 minute massage with full heat, turned out the lights, and woke up relaxed and refreshed a half hour later.

It was truly magical.



On Establishing Patterns

Melbourne at Sunset
Melbourne at sunset
Monday, January 8, 2018
Melbourne, VIC, Australia


Outside the Game: 
 I had another lazy morning as the waning first half of the trip started to catch up with me. I lolled around in bed for a good, long time before heading directly out to the tram to the zoo.

I got the Melbourne Zoo just as it opened and had a breakfast of a sausage roll from one of their concessions before starting my wander around the park.

I went immediately to the Tasmanian Devil exhibit, as my visit to the Adelaide Zoo was in the afternoon, and I wanted to try and see if I could catch them first thing in the morning. Sadly, they were hidden away somewhere else. I marched through the other enclosures, seeing more lazy kangaroos, thoughtful orangutans, and slothful koalas. One stand-out was the lemur exhibit, which was completely enclosed, and you could get up to the pack of lemurs—future research would tell me that it is called a “conspiracy” of lemurs--as they felt like letting you. They are particularly interesting close up and really don't take much notice of all at people. Also, they clean their feet with their tongue, which I suppose I didn't really need to know.

Lemur
They also all look strung out on meth.

After more walking around, I decided to take a break for lunch. I stopped in the fancier of the zoo cafes and ordered up a burger, and then sat down to wait for order. Two things here: one is that one of my toes was absolutely killing me. I had no idea what was specifically going on, but the blister must have been impressive just by how hobbled I was. Secondly, they took their time with that burger. Not that I couldn't use the time off my feet, but it took nearly 20 minutes for that burger to get done. It was a nice enough burger, but not worth that long a wait, to be sure.

I made my way through the rest of the exhibits, and then stopped back at the Tasmanian Devil enclosure on my way out, where I did finally catch a glimpse of one of them sleeping in their burrow which had plexiglass on one end.

Sleeping Devil
As close as I've come so far
I'm not sure why I did the zoo/cricket stadium combo in Adelaide, but I repeated it here in Melbourne, taking the tram over the Melbourne Cricket Grounds to grab a tour. There were enough people that we were split into three groups, our contingent led by an older lady, who was a member of the Melbourne Cricket Club. The Melbourne stadium was more modern than the one in Adelaide, featuring things such as indoor cricket batting cages, a more extensive members lounge, and a stadium library, which held things such as the oldest known mention of the word "cricket."

Melbourne Cricket Grounds
The pitch at Melbourne Cricket Grounds

After the tour, I went to the attached National Sports Museum. As you might imagine, it was largely dominated by cricket and Australia Rules Football, the two biggest sports in sports-mad Australia. There were large areas dedicated to both, with interactive skills games for each, as well as a hologram theater for two of the greats from Victoria in both sports, and the requisite halls of fame and cartoon and popular culture about both. Minor sports got their due as well, and in the historical hall on the Melbourne Cricket Hall, there was even a bit about baseball in Victoria, which detailed the 19th century American goodwill baseball tour, and the awards and memorabilia around the Melbourne Cricket Club baseball team. The old man proctoring the area wondered why an American was so interested, so I had to go through my cricket pedigree again, as well as tell him about the baseball materials in the back of the room, which he only had the most passing of familiarities with.

National Sports Museum
Baseball artifacts

After my fill of the museum, I took the tram back to the hotel. I took a shower and gave my new blister, which I named Earnest, a go over. And it was not pleasant. Given the amount of pain I was in, Earnest's life was short, and I sterilized up a spear, ended his existence, and then bandaged it all up and hoped for the best. I did a little laundry organization for the next day before heading down to the massage room for my daily relaxation and nap.

I headed back out to the State Library Victoria to see the exhibits there, but as it turned out, while the library was open late, the exhibits themselves closed around normal times, so I just took in the view from the top floor and the reading room before heading out to dinner.

Greek Town
Greek Town Sign

Melbourne is in possession of a Greek Town, so I took the opportunity to walk down and get dinner in one of the restaurants. It was the first real opportunity I had to have real spanakopita since the Venture Brothers episode of the same name, so that was clearly my appetizer for the night. I had a lovely, if rich, dinner and dessert and decided to walk it off with some more rambling down by the riverfront on a nice, cool evening.

Melborune Riverbank
Footprint in the sand

I was never quite efficient enough with my supply shopping on the trips, so I had to stop off again at the convenience store for some dry goods. My deodorant had run out, and for the life of me, I couldn't find any and thought I might have to go over to Coles when I realized that they still had roll-ons Down Under. I was looking right at them, but I was not familiar with the shape. So, I took a trip back to the eighties, got the rest of my odds and ends, and headed back to the hotel.

A tea and some TV later, and I was in bed and asleep.


The Accommodations: 
 I was at the Alto again. I cannot express how important that massage room was to me. Sometimes I still think about it wistfully.



On Powering Through

"Mass" at the NGV
Mass at the NGV
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Melbourne, VIC, Australia


Outside the Game: 
 With my feet mostly in tatters, but at least bandaged up, I only had a couple more days in Melbourne, so I had to make the best of it. I went downstairs and had breakfast again in the hotel cafe before setting off on the damn trams to spend some time at the National Gallery Victoria (NGV).

The main gallery was just off Federation Square by Flinders Street Station, and I waded through the opening crowds on the way in. The giant Buddha statue confronts you at the entrance and seeking to avoid the crowds puddling at first level, I immediately went to the top floor and worked my way down. There was some classical art worked in with some more modern works. There was a Rembrandt and--one of my personal favorites--a Memling, in addition to a bust of Marcus Aurelius.

I tend more the classical route, but there were some more interesting modern pieces, including a room full of giant skulls called "Mass," a head that constantly vomited in a self-contained system, and a piece that had marble slabs "drying" on saw horses. There was also the requisite Aboriginal section that was more modern, but still interesting. There was also a small wading pool that was art you can swim in, which I felt was on the edge of being too cutesy for its own good.

The NGV
The first Taco Bell in Australia

After my time there, I went over to the smaller annex, but unfortunately, it was mostly full of useless modern art, including a particularly by-the-book provocative number by some female artist trying to be scandalous with sexuality. Honey, I've seen it.

I was going to spend some time at the riverside park, but the entire area was co-opted for the Australian Open tennis tournament that was going to start the next week. I instead got on the trams again to head to the Shrine of Remembrance, one of the largest military memorials in Australia. Outside, it appears a giant ziggurat, surrounded by memorial sculptures and WWI-era forts. The inside is actually a large museum under the masonry, with an outer museum detailing the Australian military's involvement in conflicts since the founding of the country, as well as all the awards earned by Australian soldiers and very in-depth discussions about the conflicts themselves. Obviously, the most prominent part was about World War I, but it went in detail about all of them.

The Shrine of Remembrance
The top of the Shrine of Remembrance

In the innermost section of the memorial was the crypt itself. It held the books of all the Australian war dead and a solider memorial, and at the top was the pyramid memorial, with pillar made of limestone teeming with fossils, and the central recess "Greater Love Hath No Man" plaque under the hole in the top of the structure. I talked a bit with one of the attendants there, and he said it was constructed in such a way that the light from the hole would hit the plaque every year on the anniversary of the end of World War I. And that worked, until daylight savings time came into being, and they had to make adjustments for the light to fall correctly again.

There is a great view of the city from the promenade at the top of the memorial, and the guide pointed out an apartment complex in the city center that you could see very well from this vantage point. Aboriginal leader William Barak's face was visible in the architecture when viewed from this angle, which is nice, but complicated. It is obviously nice that Aboriginal leaders are getting their due and recognition in society, but there is also an Aboriginal taboo against the image or voice of the dead, to the point that most museums that show any pictures of Aboriginals to have warnings at the entrance to the exhibits telling Aborigines that there are pictures of the dead inside. This was far more complicated for the likes of me to work out, least of all mush-brained on holiday.

William Barak Apartment Tower
William Barak Apartment Tower

After the obligatory visit to the gift shop, I took the trams up the library again to see the exhibits. The elevators were dual-sided and quite annoying, but I finally went all the way to the top floor and worked my way down. In addition to a small Ned Kelly exhibit, there was a larger one on the history of books that was right up my alley. It started with a cuneiform example and ended with modern digital readers. I spent a lot of time walking through this one, as it was quite well done. I stopped in a bookstore on the way out, and then walked over to China Town to go to the appropriately named "China Museum." It was a tiny little building, but through its multiple floors, it told the story of the Chinese and Asian community in Australia, including the racism they faced, their early colonies, how hard it was to communicate, showing artifacts, history, and art. In the basement was a walk-through exhibit of someone leaving from China and ending up in Australia, with a bunch of interactive exhibits on Chinese medicine and fortune telling.

Laundry Sign in the Chinese Museum
Laundry sign

I grabbed some lunch from a convenience store at I walked over the Old Treasury Building. It dealt mostly with the gold rush boom in the city, as most of the gold deposits were kept here before being shipped out. The basement was interactive exhibits about all parts of the gold rush, including "modern" news on Melbourne during the time, seeing how well you'd do trying to sell your gold in Melbourne, and the like. There was also a small recreation of the treasury keeper's apartment, where he and his family lived at the time. The top floor frankly handled political issues of the times in a refreshingly straightforward manner.

Old Treasury Building
Diamonds in the soles of her shoes

After this, I grabbed the tram back to the hotel. I showered and spent my time in the massage room. I had managed to miss drinks with the manager for my trip so far, as I was usually out at that time, but I was around this evening, and got a complimentary glass or two of wine and some schmoozing with the other guests and the management.

I headed out for a quick dinner at a nearby burger stand because I had some administrative tasks to attend to. I went to Southern Cross to sort up some travel arrangements, found the post office locations nearest me, and then just walked around a little because it was simply a gorgeous night out.

I had to head back to the hotel to do my laundry, so I swapped into my shorts and crummiest T-shirt, and threw all the rest into the washer and drier. While the cycles were going, I spent some more quality time in the massage room, before collecting my laundry and going back to my room to iron and do some pre-packing while watching TV before bed.


The Accommodations:
I spent the most time in my hotel room this day than any before it. The stars all aligned for it, and I didn't fight it, especially the extended time in the massage room. My feet actually felt a lot better after battering the ever-loving hell out of my calves and feet with the robochair.

I felt the most settled-in in my room this evening, of course, now that I was leaving in two days.




On Yin and Yang

The Great Scenic Railway
Over the top
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Melbourne, VIC, Australia


Outside the Game:
I woke up early after an early night of domesticity the previous evening. I had breakfast at the cafe and then headed out to the post office to mail out a box of crap back to myself before flying to Perth the next day.

My problem was that I couldn't find the post office. There were a number marked on my map, but none were where they were supposed to be. I eventually retreated back to my hotel and got assured that there was one open at a location, where I tramped off to, and luckily, it was open.

I packed all my items up in a box and waited in a long queue to get served. A thoroughly cosmopolitan clerk helped me through my shipping, telling me not to bother listing everything out and to keep it all to one form. Relatively quickly, I was on my way with a tracking slip and headed back to my hotel to drop of my carry bag and get my backpack for a day's adventure.

A tram right outside the hotel took me straight to St. Kilda's beach, marking the first time I had approached this edge of Australia. I was here not for the beach, but Luna Park, a contemporary 1912 copy of Brooklyn's turn-of-the-century Luna Park. It even had its own historic roller coaster, the Great Scenic Railway, one of the only wooden, driver-operated roller coasters left in the world.

Luna Park, Melbourne
Fanciful

You enter through the iconic laughing head, and there was a great deal of merry-makers on this Wednesday. I eventually was told that if I only wanted an entry pass for A$2, I could wait in a shorter line, and I was quickly in the park. It was a well-maintained mix of more contemporary and older rides, with early 20th century decor abounding. Sadly, their carousel was under repair, and it turned out that the roller coaster was having a late opening due to maintenance issues. I spent my time dumping all my gear in a locker and buying a single ride pass, then killing some time in an arcade, playing boardwalk games, and getting a computer portrait done in a coin-op machine that "painted" pictures of you in different classical styles.

I had just grabbed some fish and chips when I heard that the roller coaster was opening, so I booked it to get on line before it had gotten too long. No less than five minutes after I got on line, the snaking behemoth escaped the confined of the long ,roped area and was spilling out down the park. I had time to finish my lunch before making it to the front of the line. We took a rough and brief ride on the ancient roller coaster to the enjoyment of all. Another trip was out of the question, as the line had reached an hour or so wait for a return trip, so instead I grabbed some popcorn, grabbed my items from the locker, and walked around taking pictures.

After amusing myself to my desired limit, I took a walk out to the beach proper, pretty much to at least be able to say I had visited a beach at some point in Australia, and then hooped the tram back to the city center.

I showered, took my time in the massage room (as I had tweaked my leg a little sometime during the day), and then joined the manager for drinks again on my last night at the hotel. Then I headed out to the night market at the Queen Victoria Market.

Queen Victoria Night Market
Night marketing

The night market is a big to-do in Australia, with alcohol (of course), live performances, and food carts galore. By the time I arrived just at sundown, the place was already shoulder to shoulder. I had some gnocchi with cream sauce and kangaroo filets from the food vendors, did a little shopping, and then headed back to the hotel.

Kangaroo at the Queen Victoria Night Market
Roo on the Run

It was then when my day went a little south when I got a message from a friend asking me to call her. As it was the middle of the night in the US, I didn't think it was going to be good news. Her new apartment had just been broken into while she was there, and the attacker had scared her for an extended period before running off. She was waiting for the police. So that put a damper on the evening.

After talking with her for a while until the cops showed up, I went back to the hotel to pack, check in to my flight the next day, and have some tea while watching cricket for another relatively early night.


The Accommodations:
This was my last day at the Alto, and I was really, really sad to go. The massage chairs had become my best friends in the entire world, and I had hoped to find some way to take them with me. Especially with the muscle pull earlier in the day, they were the only reason I was still a mobile individual at this point in the trip.

I still think of them quite fondly.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/baseballoogie/albums/72157664054103497

2017-8 Australia
https://baseballoogie.blogspot.com/2018/01/adelaide.html

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