Miami

On the Best Money I've Ever Spent

Landshark Field, 2009

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Pittsburgh Pirates vs. Florida Marlins
Landshark Field (Dolphin Stadium)
Major League Baseball, National League
Miami, FL
6:10 PM


Outside the Game:
I had breakfast at my hotel in Minneapolis before taking the shuttle to the airport. As this would be a time-sensitive flight for my itinerary, it was immediately delayed by the precursor flight from Washington DC getting caught up in weather and got flagged for extra screening at security. To be fair, the lady was very nice as she pillaged through my dirty underwear, taking swabs of god knows what. It turns out some mini-snow globes I had picked up in Tampa had fingered me for extra screening. These same snow globes that I had taken through security all across the country for the last week. I feel safer; don't you?

The delay to the flight wasn't that bad, and we got in the air only 20 minutes late. I sat next to a very nice couple from the Greater Twin Cities area, don'tcha kno, who were very interested in my OLPC. I gave them the whole story behind the project and whatnot. They politely understood about half of it, though they did get the clear impression that I did not enjoy Microsoft's new involvement in the project.

The flight itself went without incident, and we made up all the delay time in the air, touching down on time on the pleasantly melting tarmac of Miami International Airport. A shuttle ride got my to my hotel, where I immediately called a cab to get me to my game, which was inexplicably scheduled at 6:10. The cabbie very enthusiastically told me how it would be much better when the new park opened downtown, removing the necessity of trucking all the way out of town to see a game.

The stadium at least had some self-awareness about its locale and lack of public transportation, and there was a taxi stand outside the gates to help people get back to civilization. (Are you taking notes, LA?) Once again, I had an excellent conversation with the cabbie on the way back to my hotel, backlit by the fireworks that preceeded the KC and the Sunshine Band concert.

Airline travel reared its ugly head after the game, as I tried to print out my boarding pass at the business center. I had managed to forget to assign myself a seat when I bought the ticket in December, and I was unable to do so before the flight. A call to customer service confirmed that I would not be able to get a seat assignment until I checked in the next morning, but I was helpfully assured that there shouldn't be any problem, and by the way, the flight was oversold. So really, what more could I ask for?


The Stadium & Fans:

Home plate to center field, Landshark Field

Let's start with this: who in the Hell decided it would be a good idea to dump a concrete and asphalt monstrosity just north of Miami? I mean, really.

It is a well-known fact that Dolphin Stadium (sorry, "Landshark Field" as they call it during baseball season), isn't very good as a ballpark. Much as with the Metrodome the day before, it is clearly a football stadium that they retrofitted for baseball, although they did manage to do a slightly better job on the decor than the Twins. But to add to the atmosphere of slapdash, the stadium was undergoing renovations, and nearly half the place in the outfield was closed for said reservations, or at least, that was their story. The luxury area was the only really nice part of the park (and by nice, I mean "air conditioned"), but even over half of the concessions in there were also closed for "remodeling."

And then there's attendance. I get it, I do. The ballpark is north of the city and a pain in the ass to get to by all accounts. But they still managed to fill them when they were winning World Series. The sparse crowd for this game (and apparently, this was one of the better days because of a post-game concert and fireworks display) were huddled in the shaded areas of the stadium behind home plate and the foul lines, except for a hardy colony in the outfield, sweating patiently for foul balls. The crowd was into the game, but it was hard to overlook all those empty orange seats that used to have fair-weather asses in them in better days. A scattering of Pirates fans made an appearance as well.

The greatest failure of the Marlins as a ballclub is that they have cheerleaders. To be fair, they just scraped the micro-thin veneer of the "party patrols" at other stadiums and stuffed them into micro-thin spandex costumes, but to paraphrase a movie, there's no cheerleaders in baseball. My favorite bit of this fiasco is that the "Marlin Mermaids" had a parade stance for the national anthem (hands behind back with pom-poms on ass, in case you're wondering). Their second worse offense against baseball is the Marlin Manatees, a dance troupe of fat guys that move it, move it during weekend home games. The Marlin entertainment squad is filled out by an in-stadium DJ and a hot Cuban woman, whose only purpose seemed to be a hot Cuban woman (NTTAWWT).

Cheerleaders, for some reason

As part of the July 4th festivities, there was finally a MLB-wide event to support ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) research. There was a raffle in every stadium with proceeds going to ALS research, and a commemorative reading of Gehrig's famous "Luckiest Man" speech, which was originally delivered on July 4th at the old Yankee Stadium. A fitting tribute, to be sure, but the event loses a little of its gravitas when it is delivered by a sweaty "Mr. Marlin," Jeff Connine, in a shorts and a polo shirt, giving an inspired reading straight off a script. The original was better.

The inter-inning contests included a hotdog eating contest and a "make your mortage payment" contest, in which the eventual winner went completely crazy with joy. I guess she was late on her mortgage.


At the Game with Oogie:

Not outside

I believe my exact words at the ticket booth were along the lines of "something in the shade." In what may be the best $60-something dollars I ever spent, I bought "club-level" seats behind home plate. This allowed access into the premium area, which meant air conditioning, which meant that I'm sitting here typing this instead of meeting an untimely death by heat stroke. Even once I got into the club level and into the air conditioning and food court, against all science the heat seemed to stay with me until I had been safely sequestered in the AC for a good twenty minutes. Even chowing down in the interior seating area, the heat remained menacingly just beyond the large glass walls, waiting patiently, oh so patiently, for me to have to go outside.

I did eventually have to venture out to my seat, passing through glass doors that were rendered opaque by condensation. The area behind home plate had been in the shade for a good bit of time at this point, so it was still hot, but not oppressive. I was surrounded by families, old Hispanic men, and a couple of nerds sitting next to me. (You know you're in Miami when even the nerds can dance like Charo when prompted.) The family on the other side of me was particularly amusing, as a Dad had clearly dragged his daughter along to the game against her will, and he continually kept prompting her at exciting points in the game to her dull and unimpressed response.

In addition to the free Marlins cap they were giving away, apparently as part of sitting in the club level you get a free pack of Marlins cards as you leave the stadium.


The Game:

First pitch, Pirates vs. Marlins

Even though the Marlins are currently threatening to take the lead in the listless NL East, a contest between the Marlins and lowly Pirates was never going to an edge-of-your-seat clash of the Titans. The Marlins jumped out to an early lead on a dinger from Ramirez and actually no-hit the Bucks through five innings, but then slowly tried to give the lead back throughout the course of the middle game. They managed to manufacture enough runs (based mostly on Pirate miscues), however, and eeked out a 5-3 win.


The Scorecard:

Pirates vs. Marlins, 07/04/09. Marlins win, 5-3.

The scorecard could be purchased separately, or as part of the $5 program. It was good cardstock, but the card was at best one-handing it. There was a big blank area at the bottom for no good reason, and they didn't even have the pitching lines. For a national league card, they only gave one line per player and a few extra at the bottom of each team. The clincher for me was the fact that, much like Atlanta, they clearly didn't proofread the thing, as the first column for the player positions had scoring diamonds in them. Details, people, details.


The Accommodations:

Sleep Inn

As I was once again largely using the hotel as a bed, I opted for a relatively cheap Sleep Inn near to the airport. I somehow managed to book a handicap-accessible room, and, in retrospect, the sheer act of doing that probably makes me eligible for the room itself, so it all works out. I asked to move in case an actual non-mentally handicapped individual showed up, but I was assured that there were other handicapped-accessible rooms still available. As the room was fine outside of having a bench in the shower and all the seats and switches at wheelchair height, I didn't ask to move. Once again, it was exactly what I needed it to be, and outside of the neighboring room having some loud, ahem, fun (quickly alleviated by some application of my iPod), I managed to get a full night's sleep that was guaranteed to make me feel groggy the entire next day.

On Never, Ever Being Late Going Home

The way back

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Hoboken, NJ


Outside the Game:
My ticketing situation was still unresolved as of the night before, which gave me pause. That pause was tempered, however, with the knowledge that I was going home today, and my flights home are never in doubt. It doesn't come to pass that I have to call work and say "There's nothing I can do. They canceled my flight and I have to stay here an extra day." No, we couldn't have that.

I had breakfast at the hotel and then shuttled out to the airport early to sort out my ticket situation. I checked in at the self-service kiosk and was brightly told again that I didn't have a seat and I'd have to get one at the gate. Sure.

So through security and out to the gate I went, and I was finally pleasantly surprised to find someone already at the gate counter who gave me a boarding pass with a seat. You win again, Work. I had a hour and half to kill before boarding, so I found one of those recharger stations and started do some work on this thing while I waited. Boarding went smoothly, though I was seated in the same row as a rather haggard looking family, clearly coming back from a vacation such as my own. They had in tow five personal Pizza Hut pizzas that made me insanely hungry and already finding the complimentary cookie I was going to get with my free drink seem inadequate. One of the first messages from the pilot was that we were probably going to land a little early, and hey, where were you on my damn flight out?

The flight back did, in fact, land early, my driver was, in fact, right there to pick me up, and my ride back to my apartment from LaGuardia did, in fact, make record time. After some emergency watering of my plants, I had an exciting late afternoon of laundry to distract me from thinking about work the next day.

An Afterward:

As of this moment, I have three major league stadiums I have not yet been to: new Yankee Stadium, the Oakland Colosseum, and Fenway Park. I have plans to finalize to go out to Oakland in August and plans set in stone for Fenway in the last week of the season. Frankly, I'm holding out for my Dad to go to new Yankee Stadium to finance the ticket purchase.

Assuming that the rest goes as planned, I've run out of places to go next July 4th week. Although Target Stadium in Minneapolis is opening up, it is not enough to occupy more than a weekend trip. Although I ultimately see myself heading off to conquer the minor league parks as well, I have two ideas floating around for my "off year" next year. First, I may follow the Mets around on the road for the week. However, if the Mets are home, I was thinking to perhaps go to Japan and go to games for a week.

Time will ultimately tell, but I know that I'll be watching baseball next year.

Click here to see all the photos from this trip.

2009 The Rest

Tampa Bay

An Introduction

July 4th means baseball. This was the year I was looking to wrap up all the remaining stadiums, which unfortunately left no convenient geographic areas to hit. I had a bunch of spares to pick up, and I just had to pick a direction, and hope the best, although I did manage to plot a course that at least made some sort of sense, at least until I started jumping between the Midwest and East Coast towards the end.

On Never, Ever Leaving on Time

It was a little humid when I arrived.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Tampa Bay, FL


Outside the Game:
My flight out to Florida got moved up an hour and a half, so I had to leave work early the day I headed out on my trip. While this sounds like a good thing, it actually made me work longer on Thursday night and get in early on Friday to make sure that all my work was shored up to the point that I would be able to leave without them contacting me the next day. I had already worked 43 hours for the week by the end of the Thursday, so coming in early Friday morning was just about enough to put me over the edge.

But at 4 PM, away I went. There was a minor amount of traffic, but the problems didn't really start until I got to the airport. The first inkling that my flight out for this trip was going to be like all the others was the fact that I could not check in at one of the kiosks. I waited on the Delta line, then got told to go to the Northwest line, and then the woman at that counter went to talk to somebody in back. For those of you who don't travel much, that is never a good sign. But despite all that, I was able to get my boarding pass, get through security, and get to the gate all before the plane started boarding. It was not without casualties, however. A rainstorm on the way to work had me take my umbrella I had packed, and on the way to being shuttled from one line to the other by a nameless string of functionaries, I managed to leave my umbrella someplace. Since I was heading for sunny Florida, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, right?

My dad, who traveled a great deal in his youth on business, always told me you need three things to get out on a flight: a plane, a crew, and a runway. Although it seems deceptively simple, there's a ton of truth to the platitude, as 90% of delays are caused by either a plane not making a connection, a flight crew not being there, or losing your runway takeoff slot due to any number of issues. This night, we had a plane, a crew, and a runway slot.

Then, the thunderstorms started. Within visual distance of Not Shea stadium, I watched as it turned to not-visual distance of Not Shea stadium. Because it was thunderstorms and not just rain, all the ground crew got pulled from the tarmac, so we didn't get fully fueled. We pulled back from the gate about on time, but the rain had caused a slight delay in the airspace used by three NY-area airports, and we became the 43rd in line to take off. How long is it for 43 planes to take off in front of you in bad weather conditions? About two and half hours on the tarmac, now that you ask. Our pilot was about as cool with the situation as can be expected, but even with his influence, there were people just on the cutting edge of rioting by the time we eventually took off. The flight, though bumpy in places, continued without incident, touching down about three hours or so late. In-flight entertainment was provided by a young, pretty Eurotrash couple to my left that kept using their electronic devices even when threatened with fine and removal from the plane, and the passive-aggressive couple sitting next to me complaining about them, especially the apparently racist wife who went back to the stewards several times to tattle on the Eurotrash.


The Accommodations:

DoubleTree Tampa Bay

As with my last trip, I staggered out to get my rental car, drove to the nearby DoubleTree hotel (though, thankfully assisted by the dulcet, calming, British directions of the TomTom this time) and crashed with just enough time to get some late room service sent up to my room. The room was very well appointed, with a deck overlooking the pool.

I thought it might be a nice idea to go out on the deck to have my dinner, but the thick condensation on the glass deck door should have been a warning. Upon opening the sliding door, I was blinded by my glasses completely steaming over and nearly took a header off the rail. I quickly retreated inside and ate my dinner right by the newly appreciated air conditioner.

On A New Perspective

Tropicana Field, 2009

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Florida Marlins vs. Tampa Bay Rays
Tropicana Field
Major League Baseball, Interleague
Tampa Bay, FL
7:05 PM


Outside the Game:
I had all day to kill before the brief ride out to the Tropicana Field for the game. I had no real agenda for the day and decided to see where fate took me. Fate arrived in the form of torrential tropical showers that covered the area slightly after I finished breakfast. I bought a replacement umbrella and was inspired to go to the aquarium, located on one of the endless bays that dot the area. My new umbrella got quite a workout very quickly, as the parking lots for the aquarium are an inexplicable distance away from the aquarium proper. When the sun game out, it was a scorching wasteland of asphalt. In the rain, it was needlessly long and sloggy -- unless they were attempting to make the area outside the aquarium into an aquarium itself, in which case they have succeeded mightily.

It never rains in Florida.

I used a kiosk that everyone else seemed to be ignoring to buy a ticket without waiting at the ticket booth line and retreated ironically into the aquarium to get dry. It was a very kid-friendly facility, geared to families. There was the de regur touching pool and Finding Nemo-inspired exhibits, as well as areas on coastal mangrove ecosystems, the ever-present devil rays, and a quite interesting exhibit on the history of home aquariums. The "big window" display they had was better than most, and an odd touch were rocking chairs by the exhibits for you to sit in to view them. Quite relaxing, really.

Fish wall

I grabbed some lunch (next to the surreally inexplicable "NYPD Pizza" place -- I wasn't aware they were licensing) and then when the weather cleared up, I went onto the USS Liberty, an active WWII-era Liberty ship docked next to the aquarium. For those not up on your merchant marine history, the Liberty ships were the most rugged transport vessels produced during WWII, as opposed to the Victory ships, which were mass-produced tin cans used to move cargo as fast as possible. The USS Liberty was still an active vessel, so the crew were all Coast Guard personnel, and they were every anal about signing in and out of the ship. Touring the ship was quite involving, but easily the highlight was a Navy advisory from the 50s on what to do in the event of a nuclear attack on Tampa Bay. (Answer: keep hosing off the decks to clear fallout and run away from the port and any other ships as fast as possible.)

After this, it was time to head over to the stadium, which was a short drive away, though over a throughway across the bay at water level that made for some odd driving experiences. A concert after the game insured that exiting and returning back to the hotel was similarly speedy, though the disconcerting travel at water level was even more so at night.


At The Game With Oogie:

The ray tank is real.

As this was the first game of the trip, I splurged on box seats right behind home plate. This seat was in the midst of season ticket holders, and, as a single seat, was the only one in the immediate area that had different occupants from game to game. This placed me in the midst of some of the die hards of the die hards. I got there very early, but when the first two people in my row showed up, and the married couple both pulled out score cards, I knew I was in the right place.

Everyone knew each other, and the section was full up by game time. The regulars immediately took interest in the interloper, and they said that the person who usually ends up in my seat were good baseball fans, so I apparently met muster. I've got to say that this was just about one of the best times I've ever had at a game, which is why the crowd is more than half the experience wherever you go to game. One man in particular reminded me a lot of my late uncle, from the goofy demeanor and slipshod appearance, to the odd cadence of his conversation that worked out perfectly so he would get his sentence in right before he turned back to look at the pitch. It was all-around a good time.


The Stadium & Fans:

Home plate to center field, Tropicana Field

I had actually been to Tropicana Field once before, during my last trip to Disney World, before I had even envisioned my current baseball endeavor. Despite literally sitting one row in front of George Steinbrenner during my last visit, I was completely underwhelmed by the experience. Even though we were in the nice seats, it had all the charm of watching a ballgame in the Javits Center. At its best, the experience seemed antiseptic. But this was back when they were the Devil Rays, and the team played some pathetic baseball, and, to be fair, I was pretty loaded when I went to that game.

The Rays recently undertook a large remodeling effort on the stadium, and the effects showed. No longer looking and feeling like a convention center, the downstairs area, if anything, resembled a comic book explosion of color, with games and activities everywhere. (Well, at least in the main downstairs concourse. It looks like the renovations didn't extend to the top level, which was just as drab and bunker-y as before.) The fact that it was 80's night, with most of the employees dressed up in technicolor and neon paraphernalia everywhere certainly also contributed to the primary color rainbow effect. There was also a "gritty, urban" section covered in graffiti and garbage that turned out to be a batting cage representing the Rays enemies where you can win prizes for hitting garbage can lids adorned with other AL East teams. As part of what seems to be a growing trend of "alumni events" across major league ballparks, Andre Dawson was downstairs signing autographs. (He'd also throw out the first pitch.)

You can get very close up to the players before the game to get autographs. But perhaps you can get a little too close to places, as it was amazing the stuff they just left lying around.

One of the other big revamped attractions was the Ted Williams Museum and Hitting Hall of Fame. It is a separate entity from the Rays, but it is housed in the stadium and is free with admission. The downstairs was mostly about Ted, and it had some neat things (such as one of his lockers from Boston), and some not-so-neat things (such as a statue made of his famous fishing photo). The second level is mostly about the best hitters in the history of baseball world-wide and some more stuff about Ted. It was well worth the look and a bargain at twice the price.

There are also actual rays in a tank in center field where you can line up to go in and touch and feed them for $4. I just looked.

As may be indicative of their surging fortunes, the stadium was largely filled with enthusiastic fans. This was the case the last time I went, but Tropicana Field was then filled with enthusiastic fans of the visiting team, the Yankees. (As this was an interleague game against their intrastate rivals, the Marlins, there was in fact a minor contingent of Marlins fans concentrated along the third base side.)

A majestic national anthem exhibition with a bald eagle flying around the stadium during the music quickly became slightly less majestic as it decided it was done with this crap and landed on the awning of the center field bar and refused to move. The annoyed officials eventually led the chagrined handlers out onto the roof in the back to quietly retrieve the bird.


The Game:

First pitch, Marlins vs. Rays

The Rays were trying to get back in the race for the AL East, and the Marlins, by virtue of playing mediocre ball while the rest of the division was having a "who can lose the most games" race, were making their way into the NL East race. To rub salt in the wound, former Mets ace prospect Kazmir was starting for the Rays. Regardless, the Marlins jumped out to an early lead, with a manufactured run and a dinger, but by virtue of a homerun and three straight hits, the Rays tied in up in the bottom of the fifth. Both pitchers settled in, holding each other scoreless. But in the bottom of the ninth, a single, stolen base, and passed ball led to a walk-off sacrifice fly that sent the stadium into conniptions of joy.

I was told by fellow fans about a couple of interesting statistics regarding the game. The Rays were undefeated on Concert Nights (Pat Benetar would be providing a free concert after the game), and the Rays ended the game just one home run shy of being the first team in history to go 100/100 on home runs and stolen bases before the All Star break (the combination of power and speed is a rare combination in baseball).


The Scorecard:

Marlins vs. Rays, 06/27/09. Rays win, 3-2.

The scorecard was part of a free program given out when you entered the stadium. It was booklet-size on good paper with more than enough room for an AL Game.


The Accommodations:
I was at the airport DoubleTree again. I went down to their breakfast buffet and had just about the largest breakfast I can remember: sausage, biscuits, oatmeal, grits, cereal... it goes on. I was apparently pretty hungry.

After the game, I just came back and crashed because of my early flight the next day.

Click here to see all the photos from this trip.

2009 The Rest

Washington

GAME 3

RFK Stadium, 2006

Date: Monday, July 3, 2006, 7:05 PM
Florida Marlins vs. Washington Nationals
RFK Stadium
Washington, DC
Major League Baseball, National League
Promotion: None


The Stadium & Fans:
RFK Stadium is... RFK Stadium. I hear they have a nice new baseball stadium in the works, but until then, they play in this concrete monstrosity. Watching a game here feels more claustrophobic than one in a dome.

The fans, however, were enthusiastic and knowledgeable, and largely made up for the grim environment.


Scorecard:

Marlins vs. Nationals, 07/03/06. Nationals win, 9-1.

The scorecard was $4 as part of the official program. It was cardstock-type paper with largish boxes, but the blue background made it hard to see anything written on it.



Miscellanea:
It is very rarely that you know exactly how much a piece of real estate is worth. Although seats were open in the Diamond Boxes behind home plate, I demurred on the $110 price tag, so I sat one section back in the first row of that area, for a more sensible $50. However, stretching out my feet to over the chairs in front of me, my legs had made a journey of $60.


Travel & Other Non-Game Activities:
The District of Columbia is so amazingly Byzantine and user-hostile that analogies to the government it houses are strictly superfluous. The Beltway system is particularly worthy of note, as it has been deliberately designed to make you lose your will to live. As much as I'd like to chalk it up to incompetence rather than malevolence, it just doesn't hold up to scrutiny. Incompetence would simply be not placing road signs at all. But in Washington, they do have road signs that lead you to a certain point, and then disappear mysteriously or change names without explanation at critical junctures.

Making the whole travel ordeal even more onerous was the insane heat that baked the capitol that day. Once I found the one parking lot in the entire city, I remembered that the Smithsonian museums were free admission, and so I went to the Museum of National Air Conditioning, and the Smithsonian Gallery of Dear God I Think The Soles of My Sneakers Are Melting. Along my museum journeys, I got depressed as I walked through the hall that supposedly showed all the constraints that are in place on presidential power and realized how Bush had managed to subvert each and every one of them.

On my way out of the city, my plan was to drive as far to Philadelphia as I could stay awake. Having unknowingly had some caffeinated soda at the game, I was wired for sound long into the night. At one transcendent moment crossing out of Maryland, the 1,000 Homo DJs cover of Black Sabbath's Supernaut came on my Shuffle, and I transformed into an overclocked beam of light flying up I-95 at speeds my car could not register, as my speedometer pegs at 90 MPH. I eventually ditched to a hotel for the night near the Delaware/PA border.


The Game:
I was solidly behind the Nationals in this game because the Marlins were higher up in the NL East than they were. The Nationals crushed the Marlins, 9-1, with Alfonzo Soriano tearing up the place with two home runs and four RBIs. And after seeing it for the first time ever a few nights before, I again saw a player pinch-hitting for the pitcher get two at-bats.

Click here to see all the pictures from this trip.

2006 The East