On Reaching the Promised Land
Friday, May 22, 2026
Volo, IL
Outside the Game:
At long last, it was Volo Day. Last year, at a living history farm of all places, someone told me about the Volo Museum and said I should definitely visit. And I did go the day I was leaving, but I literally had to sprint through the place in order to make it back to O'Hare in time for my flight, so I decided that sometime on this trip, I'd make a day of it. And this was the day.
There was no free breakfast at the hotel, and I didn't see the need for an expensive one at their restaurant, so I stayed up in my room for a lazy morning of packing, showering, and settling on a hotel for the evening.
I checked out and hit the road around 9:45 AM, and after a short drive with some annoying traffic lights, I got to the museum just after opening, and I was the third person to get tickets for the day.
I told the ticket lady that I was particularly looking forward to the Disneyland wax machines, and of course she said they were down for service, but that I should pick up some already-made ones at the gift shop. I went over and there was only one Goofy left, so I grabbed it before heading out to the exhibits.
I stopped in to watch the history movies that I forwent the last time. It told how the museum started with the first generation of owners finding a bunch of really rare cars in area barns, and eventually the car showroom came from that. The rest came from one of the owner's sons, who grew bored having seen every possible classic car already, so he started in with the Hollywood props, other vehicles, and sideshow stuff that made the place what it is today.
Then it was off to the first hangar-sized showroom of every possible classic car you could imagine. The place pays the bills by selling these to celebrities and other collectors, and if I completely took leave of my senses, I could simply pop into one of the sales rooms that lined the showroom and buy one right there.
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| Cars, cars, cars |
Leading off from there was the new "Military Combat Zone" area, that was still being finished. It had all the hallmarks of the rest of the place, with really bad mannequins in a dizzying layout, with cool things snuck in. There was a trench periscope showing the POV of a night battle in WWI, right next to a clearly re-used Mr. Howell figurine in a jeep holding a map of the museum. There were actual Panzerschrecks and even a decommissioned Davy Crocket nuclear device down the corridor from some Viet Nam era "comedy" books that have not aged well. Among the many military vehicles were a questionable amount of Nazi memorabilia.
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| Boom |
It was then into the second showroom, which in addition to classic cars as far as the eye can see, contained a ton of TV and Hollywood cars--such as the Bluesmobile, Ecto-1, and the Mach-5--in really bad dioramas, along with a wall full of sexist 60s and 70s ads. The next building was dedicated to snow mobiles and other snowcraft, and then 1950's hot-rod inspired power boats.
Not having had a proper breakfast, I headed back to the main building at this point to eat. I order a brisket sandwich and platter and waited at a table in the theater area for the order to come up. The theater area was several stages along one wall with a gaggle of Chuck E. Cheese's animatronics. (There was even a building outside that opened after Memorial Day with a complete Rockafire set-up from Showbiz Pizza.) There was even a prototype "Four Little Shavers" barbershop quartet animatronics for an ice-cream spin off that never happened. The one thing you don't realize unless you are sitting right next to the things--as I was--is that they are incredibly loud when they move around, and that the audio was jacked through the roof to cover the mechanical grinding that happened during the shows.
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| Four Little Shavers |
I ate my lunch and went back at it, hitting the sideshow room on crime and punishment that had things like a real electric chair and gas chamber, along with some medieval torture devices. The third car display room was again classic cars with more Hollywood cars lining the outside edge of the room. The Batmobile, the General Lee, Dragula... you lose count.
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| Burn all the witches, and bang... |
The next exhibit halls were all about early travel in the Midwest, with stagecoaches and covered wagons. Then there was a more modern version thereof, showing the history of mobile homes, from the first modified Model T to a massive 1940s touring bus.
Next was a building just about the Ford v Ferrari movie before a big building with Disney stuff: old Disney store displays, old parade vehicles from the park, and even the aforementioned wax molds from Disneyland by way of the World's Fair. A gentleman was indeed doing maintenance on them, but he already had one up and working, and I got the Peter Pan mold to complete the set.
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| Live from the World's Fair |
The next section was just old kids rides that you could use, but only if you were a kid, and not a passed middle-age man. Which didn't matter, as I went to the next area with all the old coin ops games that took up some of my time. The next buildings were old powered farm equipment, along with the first monster truck. There were some larger items outside such as a SHIELD jet from the Avengers and the train headquarters from Wild, Wild West. The last big building was a giant carousel and calliopes and player pianos. They even had the original Luna Park Wurlitzer organ that was one of the only thing to survive the fires.
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| The sole survivor |
I went back to the main room and treated myself to some ice cream and a root beer while trying out the coin-ops machines they had there. That only left the giant antiques mall across the parking lot.
Actually there was one more classic car lot with the new arrivals, and the rest of that sprawling building was an antiques mall where various local vendors rented out individual stalls. I took a wander through the whole thing, and thanks to no luggage space, I managed to make it out with just a 1960s comedy book about the Kremlin accidentally buying a baseball team. I just had to.
That said, I had seen everything there was in the Volo Museum, and it only took me nearly the entire opening time of the museum. There was still technically a Jurassic Park kids area and a Titanic area (not open until after Memorial Day) that were extras charges that I didn't see, but I saw enough to say I had seen all of it.
I set out for my hour and half or so drive that was longer due to some outrageous congestion. At one point during my drive, my hotel called me, because whoever took my room reservation earlier did not record what type of room I wanted. We settled on a single King, and a got there a little after six.
The same woman checked me, and at some point, gave me my room card which I put in my pocket and completely forgot about. Another guest at the desk told me that she had given it to me, and I told them that I needed a shower. I parked up and went to my room to get unpacked and prepped for the night and tomorrow morning, taking said shower, and heading back down.
At the recommendation of the front desk clerk, I went to local burger joint "Johnny's" and got the "Big Daddy" burger, which was a double cheeseburger with gyro meat and BBQ sauce. Don't ever change, Illinois. Also of note was there an "adults only" door in the place, and I had to stick in my head on the way out, finding it was lined with slots machines being played by exactly the sort of people who should not be playing slots machines in the early evening on a Friday.
I went back to the hotel, bought some snacks, saw that the pool area was completely taken over by kids there for a soccer tournament the next day, and so went back up to the room for a lazy evening of paperwork and lying around watching podcasts before heading in for an early night after calling my mom.
The Accommodations:
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| Baymont Wyndham, Joliet, IL |
Outside of being infested by soccer kids, the Baymont Wyndham in the outskirts of Joliet was a completely fine hotel.
It had a full bath just off the entrance to the room, and a couch and King bed and nightstands on one wall of the room, and a dresser, TV, and desk on the other.
Another room that did exactly what I need it to.
On Going to the Big House
Saturday, May 23, 2026
Joliet, IL
Outside the Game:
After a solid night's sleep, I was up early and down for breakfast just as it opened. There was a huge crowd of parents and kids eating early before the soccer tournament, so I ate my fill and retreated back to my room as quickly as I could, completely worn out from the experience and requiring a long nap.
I found myself up against check-out time, so I took a shower, finished packing, and booked my hotel for the night before checking out right before noon.
My first stop of the day was "the big house," Old Joliet Prison. I had wanted to go last year, but it was only open for tours on the weekend, so I missed out then and decided to use my down day to make good on it. (Joliet Prison was the origin of many prison stereotypes: the big house, used universally for prison, started as a reference to the large, castle-like structure of the prison, and the prison originated the policy of cladding convicts in black and white striped outfits, as well as chain gangs.)
It was easy enough to find, and I parked up and realized how hot the day was on my walk into the visitor's center. I got my ticket and went in to look around. It was very interesting, but also very depressing, as you see these 19th-century relics and realize they barely went out of service for prisoners 25 years ago. It was almost closed during WWII, but a new series of tunnels and improvements kept it open another 60 years. I was forced to imagine some poor slob put up for life in the 20's, spending twenty years in the place with truly inhuman conditions, and then just when you thought you were getting out, it gets renovated and you spend the next 60 years of your life there, just to die before it gets closed down. Guilty or innocent and wrongly convicted, that was just a hellscape to consider for your one and only time on earth.
The prison hasn't fully been renovated yet, and large sections of old industrial buildings (no doubt full of asbestos and god knows what else) are shut tight and the "improved" tunnel system for the guards is completely flooded to the entrance. The new-ish cafeteria is the most habitable building, and is regularly used for "BluesCon," the gathering for Blues Brothers fans. (And that guy serving life gets to see them filming a movie in his golden years--still unable to leave).
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| Minor water damage |
The place did have an amazing chapel (now covered in graffiti and an extensive library (now bereft of books, thankfully), and the prison ballyard has been renovated for use by the local indie team, the Jailbirds, for a fundraising exhibition game or two a year (they hid bullpens behind a disused industrial building).
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| Big house baseball |
I grabbed a soda from the gift shop on the way out, and dcided to leave my afternoon in the hands of Roadside America again. I went to Route 66 Park just across the river, although after a long wait for the drawbridge as some ship was going down the river that afternoon). It was a kitschy little park dedicated to the eastern terminus of old route 66. I walked around for a bit to get some fresh air, although the tourist attractions really didn't open until after Memorial Day.
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| Get your kicks... |
The next stop was just up the road: The Planinsek Museum. The museum was an old local grocery and house that were donated whole hog to the local historic society by the daughter of the original owner. It hadn't been changed much since it closed, and it was an exhibit on the old local grocery itself, as well as the period house that was furnished the way that many immigrants such as my grandparents had done. I was ushered around by an attendant, and got to see the ancient basement boiler that looked like it belonged on a battleship, along with their smokehouse. There was an event going in the garage, but the family's old 1960s station wagons and coupes were still to be found as well.
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| Planinsek Museum |
I was thinking about visiting a rocket ship attraction, but it was in the wrong direction, and it was getting late in the afternoon to the point that I would get there right before it closed, so I just drove down to my hotel for the night. The hotel, relatively airport adjacent as it was, was already packed, so I checked in and got settled in and prepped for the next day before heading out to a nearby Portello's for dinner of Italian beef and onion rings. I wandered around the local mall it was in for a bit, finding two slots palaces packed with people, before going back to the hotel and walking to the service station next to the hotel for some candy to find yet even more slots machines packed with day laborers. It was very depressing and put me off legalized gambling for a while more.
I settled in for a proper putter and got all my accounts and packing in as much order as I could manage before heading to bed early after calling my mom.
The Accommodations:
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| Baymont Addison, IL |
The "Baymont" in Addison was clearly an old hotel renting the Wyndam property name. It was clearly a 70s or 80s property that was updated. It was outdated, had fire doors every ten rooms, and was shabby around all the edges. But even though it was packed, it was quiet enough and clean, so it did its job.
There was a full bathroom just off the entrance, and the room was a bed, bedtables, and a chair on one side, and a desk, dresser, and TV on the other.
The bed was new, the room was recently-painted, and I can't complain too much.
On Doing It Backwards
Sunday, May 24, 2026Clifton, NJ
Outside the Game:
I was up at the start of breakfast, or what I thought was the start of breakfast, as it didn't open until 6:30 AM and I had to wait a bit. The breakfast buffet was okay, and I ate and went back to my room for more sleep.
I showered, finished packing, and checked out at around 10:30 AM. I drove over to the airport with plenty of time, and realized I had even more than I thought as I got an alert saying the flight was delayed an hour as soon as I pulled into the rental car lot.
I dropped off the car and took the train to the terminal, and, of course, sped right through security. With a metric ton of time on my hands, I walked around the entire terminal to judge my dining options. I eventually settled on an Italian place and had a leisurely lunch of antipasti and pizza. Just as I finished, I got an alert saying my flight delay was only five minutes, but upon walking to my gate, the plane was literally just pulling in, so I walked around to kill some more time.
I got back again just as they were announcing the last groups, and they did both at once. So I was able to get in right at the front of the groups and get overhead space. There was a Hasidic woman sitting next to me who didn't say a word the entire flight.
There was lots of turbulence on the flight, so we barely got a water, but I pretty much watch most of Season 1 of Ted Lasso. Though bumpy, the flight was otherwise uneventful.
As we were landing, the pilot said there were a bunch of people who had connecting flights and one of the groups was at the back of the plane. Of course, as soon as the doors opened, everyone, especially the basic bitch couple across from me, immediately jumped up into the aisle. A guy right behind the first group of people who had to make a connecting flight started yelling to let the people in back through, and they got off, and there was security Karen right behind me who was making sure that "undeserving" people who didn't have flights didn't cut the line.
We eventually all got off the plane, and we were in the new terminal A, so I had to find the right bus to take me to the old Airtram station. In due time, I made it back to my car and drove home in a driving rain that didn't concern me anymore since I was on the ground. I started the laundry and loadout process and settled in for a night of putting crap away.
The Accommodations:
Home, sweet Clifton
